Get A Bicycle ...

"Get a bicycle. You will certainly not regret it, if you live." Mark Twain

In my new life, I have learned to set fitness goals. One of them was to ride a bike. I had a rocky start riding the bike in the gym, but now I am riding 30-45 minutes a day, 6 days a week (plus my weight training). My next huge goal was to ride a real bike - outside and everything - and to go on a family bike ride. Since I started on this path, I feel a lot of it has been in a holding pattern. There are so many things that I want to do, but I need to lose weight before I can accomplish them. But I wanted to ride a bike, not in a few months, but right now.

I knew that I would need a recumbent bike, due to an old leg injury. We started looking for one and quickly found that they started at over $1000. So, we went to plan B, AKA eBay. We found two that were up for bid by the same person, but we had a very small budget. So without God's help, I knew I would not be getting a bike. But, you know that I would not be writing this blog post if my bid had not won. So, let's recap - I wanted a very expensive, special bike, we had very little money, and it looked impossible. But with God, all things are possible and we won the bid at a great price, and got the bike. A happy ending, right?

No. The minute we won the bid, the realization set in - now I have to learn to ride a bike! Me, a rollie-pollie, uncoordinated person who hadn't ridden a bike in 40 years; what had I done? And of course, I had asked all my friends to pray that I would get this bike. They all knew I won the bid, so how would I get out of this one?

Well, it took a couple weeks to get the bike shipped, then we took it to get tuned up at a bike shop. So, finally the day came, and I had to actually ride my God given gift of a bike. I could not sleep the night before. I was so scared I wouldn't be able to do it. I even looked around online to see if they made training wheels for adult bikes. But, I knew God was with me every step of this path, so I took a "pedal of faith" and went for a ride. My husband went with me to an empty parking lot, early in the morning. I didn't want anyone to see me. Heck, I didn't even want to see myself doing this. I told him, "Whatever you do, don't let go of me." I know that's how he taught my two daughters to ride their bikes, but this was me.

So, with my heart racing, I started pedaling saying, "Don't let go of me!" I looked over, and my husband was jogging right next to me, not holding on. I realized I was riding the bike all by myself. What a feeling to accomplish a huge goal that I could not have done without God's strength. The next day, we went on our first family bike ride. It was somewhat traumatic as there were a lot of people riding on the trail so I was very nervous. I even got to take my first "wipe out." We had a great time, and I know it will only be the first of many family bike rides to come.

One thing I have learned on this path is you have to keep moving your goals once you meet them. So, my new goal is to ride 4 miles outside and work my way to 10 miles. My ultimate goal is to ride in a 50 mile bike race. I don't know how long it will take, but I know that I will keep working on these goals until I meet them.

So, there you go. Just as Mark Twain said, "Get a bicycle." I haven't regretted it (yet), and I'm still alive and pedaling down my path.

Go Kiss A Deer

I experienced a new part of my path last week while on vacation with my family. This was the first time where eating healthy and exercising actually matter to me. Well, needless to say, I was filled with much anxiety before we left because I was worrying about staying on my healthy eating plan and if I would have time to work out. To be perfectly honest with you, I really do not enjoy the outdoors that much and we were going to a cabin in the woods so that alone caused me to have much concern. Every time I have a break in my routine, I worry if I will ever get back on my path.

I was listening to a song while driving up to the cabin. I heard this song many times, but there was one line in it I heard for the first time. It was very simple but I think it was what God was trying to tell me, all through this vacation. The line says, "So look up and see love. Let grace be enough." It was as if God was speaking directly to me, saying that His grace is enough and that He loves me and I don't need to let the worries choke out the joy of this time with my family. There were many times that I would become anxious again, like when we arrived at the cabin and I saw two flights of stairs just to get in the front door. But I just looked up and saw love, and let grace be enough. Believe it or not, the stairs were no problem at all which was a good thing, because when I got in the cabin, there was another flight of stairs up to the loft. I guess all that cardio was paying off.

There were so many things on this trip that I was able to do with my family for the first time. We rode a steam engine train with an outside car that we all stood in and watched God's beautiful creation pass by. I was standing for more than an hour in the outside car with my daughters, which would have been impossible just a year ago. Last year I was only able to stand five or ten minutes at the time due to the pain in my leg and my lack of fitness. That was when God revealed to me the whole reason I am on this path - to take my life back and enjoy every minute of it. This vacation was not a snare to trap me to fall of my path, but a blessing to show me how far I have come, and what I have to look forward to with my family.

That's exactly what I did when I went for hikes, swimming in the Hot Springs, making s'mores over a campfire (yes the fire was outside). We saw so much wonderful wildlife. One the most fun things is that the deer were so friendly, they would come right up to you allow you to feed them. One actually kissed me when I bent down to feed him a cookie (no, it was not my cookie it was my husband's cookie - I guess now it is the deer's cookie). It was one of the most active vacations that we have ever had. My husband and my children have always been active, but I was never able to join in. But this time was different. It was truly a wonderful time. I cannot tell you that I now love the outdoors, but I will go there any time to spend time with my family. And of course with God's amazing blessings, when I got home from our vacation, after not being able to exercise regularly or eat as healthy as I would of liked, I weighed in and had lost 5 pounds (my husband gained 2 ha, ha, ha). Again it was God saying to me, "...look up and see love, let grace be enough." Jesus came so that we could have life and have it more abundantly, and it is our job to find the path He has given us and walk forward, living our lives.

So this week, I want you to look up and see love, and let grace be enough. And while you're at it, go kiss a deer.

Stay the Path

Somewhere In The Middle

Somewhere between the hot and the cold,

Somewhere between the new and the old,

Somewhere between who I am, and who I used to be,

Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me.

These lyrics are from a song from my favorite band, Casting Crowns, basically sum up my life. I am somewhere in the middle of my weight loss journey. Yes I have acknowledged that I will be on a lifelong path of fitness and eating right. I mean that I am in the middle of where I want to be as far as a goal weight and a fitness level. As you know, being in the middle is not always the most fun place to be. For example, sitting in the middle seat on an airplane or being the middle child I hear, is not always very fun. So I felt that instead of whining about being somewhere in the middle, I would have look back to where I was, to the present where I am now, and forward to where (by God's grace) I am going on my path.

Where I used to be is a place I'd like to forget. I am 5 foot 5 and weighed 450 pounds. However, I need to remember the chains that once held me as an encouragement to keep moving ahead. I used to be in a place where I ate a candy bar every night before I went to bed (usually king size). I never counted calories or even gave them a second thought. I would think nothing of having three or four refills of a Coke at a restaurant as well as eating six donuts or six slices of pizza at one sitting. I'm sure I was consuming around 3000+ calories a day. I never worked out or even broke a sweat. In fact, I couldn't even take more than six to ten steps without being out of breath or in pain. If there was anything on television or in a book about exercise or losing weight, I would immediately switch it. When anyone talked about being fit and exercising, I would try to change the subject as quickly as I could. This is just a thumbnail of where I used to be; not a pretty picture I can assure you.

Today I work out six days a week for 1 to 2 hours a day. I wish I could tell you that I love working out, but I really only love when it's over. I love how it makes me feel, when I accomplish things. I truly do not like working out, but I get up every morning at 4:30 and I go. I get blisters now, sore muscles, and I sweat - which is all really new to me. I even have short-term and long-term fitness goals. I now count every calorie I eat (I even have a digital food scale to make sure), and I haven't had a candy bar in over 16 months. Okay, I do still splurge and eat a small piece of cake at birthday parties - you've got to be reasonable, right? I shop at places like Whole Foods and eat whole-wheat everything. Boy have times changed. I now read, watch, and listen to anything that has to do with fitness and wellness and am currently watching four seasons of "The Biggest Loser" at one time, counting the days until September 15 for the new season! This was the first year I ever watched "The Biggest Loser" and now I am trying to catch up and glean all the information I can from the past seasons (my secret dream is to have Bob be my friend and personal trainer). I get fitness newletters and read fitness blogs and have read six books about fitness and nutrition. Anytime there is something on TV related to health, fitness, and weight loss, I get excited and hang on every word. I no longer drink Coke's, which is really really sad, but rather, green tea (which tastes like dirt but it's healthy and helps with your metabolism so I do it).

So, where am I going to be? Notice I said, "where I'm going to be?" This is because with God's help, and some huge goals that I want to achieve, I will reach my target weight (which I am not currently sharing with anyone except my husband). I plan to mark that occasion by getting a tattoo. For those of you who don't know me, this is probably the most unlikely thing that I would ever do, but I want to mark the day I reach one of the biggest goals of my life. This is also a way to commit myself to never go back. A couple of big goals on my way to my target weight is to ride in a 50 mile bike ride, and in a year, I want to join karate with my family. I also hope to find a way to encourage people who are on the same path I am on.

So here I am, somewhere in the middle, but I'm not stuck. I'm moving forward. And yes, there are days that are very discouraging. A few weeks ago I commented to my aerobics teacher and fittness mentor, Sensei Richard, that I was kind of sick of being in the middle of this and he said to me, very honestly and truthfully, that it didn't take me overnight to get in this condition, and it is not going to take me overnight to get out of it. A kind of mean, but truthful statement - something I really needed to hear.

The last verse of this song is exactly what God wants us to know about Him during times like these in our lives:

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side,

Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle.

Stay the Path

Motivation + Action = Momentum

"Motivation is the internal condition that activates behavior and gives it direction, energizes, and directs goal-oriented behavior." Wow, what a definition. As I walk on my path, I feel like I am in a constant search for motivation. I was shocked when I read this definition. I never realized that motivation is an internal condition. For many years, I had motivation from external sources such as fear, what other people thought of me, what I think God thinks about me, what I think about myself, and what God really thinks about me. But since I started walking this path, I am beginning to realize that motivation comes from within. Let me tell you that it is a really scary realization. And you know I've had a few of those scary realizations. First, it's no cosmic joke that I am overweight; it was a choice that I made to be overweight and unhealthy. I can't blame anyone for my emotional eating. I put the food in my mouth; I made the choice.

Now, I find out that within, I have the capability to motivate myself to stay on the path (of course with God's help, that goes without saying). I am solely responsible to make and direct my goals to accomplish what God has set before me. Sometimes I feel like I'm the, Little Engine That Could - I think I can, I think I can, and now I know I can. I cannot tell you how that feels to accomplish a goal that you set for yourself. If you've been reading my other posts or following me on Facebook you know I have been on a journey to ride a bike, both in and out of the gym. The first time was a complete and utter failure, so much so that I wrote a blog about it. Well I knew I wanted to ride a bike and that was my big fat hairy goal but I knew I needed to break it down into small bite-size, manageable, measurable goals. That's what I did. My first goal was to ride the bike for 10 minutes and when I met that goal I moved it to 30 minutes. Yes, believe it or not I rode for 30 minutes and after that I set it for 45 minutes. During this time, God really blessed me with the opportunity to buy a recumbent bike to ride outside which is my ultimate fitness goal. So now, I have two different goals going - one to ride the bike inside the gym and the other to learn to ride a bike outside. Then, just last week I had a goal to ride the bike for an hour at the gym. To tell you the truth, I really didn't believe that I could accomplish this one, but I tried and 61 minutes later I went 15 ½ miles. Now, that was probably one of the greatest accomplishments I have had on my path.

Now, before me is the goal to learn to ride my bike outside. A good friend has challenged me to ride my bike 10 miles outside, and she will run the 10 miles. It is a funny thing that I can actually say that I am motivated to reach that goal. But what is the point of this blog? It is to share with you that you have everything you need inside of you to be motivated to start or continue on your path. All you really need to do is step up and start moving forward. You might say that motivation + action = momentum. So get up, get motivated, and stay the path.

Grab Your Spandex & Meet Me on the Path

My husband and I are switching gyms. Joining a gym can be one of the most stressful experiences on your path to fitness. When I joined my first gym, I was so scared to be at a gym with skinny spandex people who I thought would be filled with judgement and disgust at me. On the first day, I was so relieved to see, "my kind" there. You might ask what is "my kind"? Well what I like to call us is, nice, round rollie-pollie people - so much nicer than the word "fat" don't you think? Well, I learned quickly that the round rollie-pollie people are glad you are at the gym but they don't want to be seen talking to you or interacting. They give you the look which says, "keep strong, don't stop working out, glad you are here, but don't let the skinny spandex people see us together." I have met some very nice skinny spandex people who have been quite encouraging, and I have to give props to the skinny spandex people. Before I started on my path to fitness I thought you were either a skinny spandex person or a nice rollie-pollie person. You might say it's just the luck of the draw. But now I know that it's up to each of us and the choices we make each day that determines which category we will fall. So you could say I am on my way from rollie-pollie to skinny spandex and am hopeful I will make the right choices along the way. So grab some spandex and meet me on the path.

Hop On A Bike And Stay The Path

They say there is joy in the journey and that it is this journey and not the destination that matters. But I'm here to say that sometimesthe journey stinks. Sometimes it is a struggle just to get up and keep moving on the path. I have had a couple of difficult weeks finding motivation and frankly, just being happy about my diet and my road to fitness. This is the first time that I am actually pushing myself outside my comfort zone and often times when you push yourself, you get some bumps and bruises along the way. A few weeks ago I went to work out before church on a Sunday morning. On that morning, it was the first time I tried to ride a stationary bike. I know for many of you, riding a stationary bike is not a big deal. But for me it is totally out of my comfort zone. My husband was trying to help me and when I started riding I cannot tell you how painful it was because of an old leg injury. Riding a bike is one of my long term fitness goals. To be able to ride outside with my family. When I tried to ride it that Sunday morning, I failed miserably felt totally discouraged. I felt like I hit a wall and couldn't believe that I didn't even try. I was truly devastated and all I wanted to do was go home and go to bed and pull the covers over my head. But my husband and family didn't allow that and made me go to church. You know how when you get in that place where you feel sorry for yourself you just want to stay and wallow in it for a while?

I didn't want anyone to lift me up. But of course God had another idea. Our worship leader introduced a new song that day that spoke to me right in the middle of my pity party and I had no option other than to get up dust myself off and move forward. The song was called "Found" - a new song by an artist named Aaron Ivey (aaronivey.com) and from the first line, I knew God had some very important things to say to me through this song. The first line says, "Jesus, the healer of brokenness," and on that Sunday morning I cannot tell you how broken I felt both physically, emotionally and spiritually. Then the song goes on to say that Jesus is the "fixer of troubled souls" and by the time we got to the chorus of the song my eyes were filled with tears and my heart was looking up. I realized that God was telling me that God was my resting place and that God has taken my brokenness and made me whole again, and that my life is found in him.

I can literally write every line in the song and tell you how it reached in and touched me. You need to buy it for yourself from iTunes - it will be the best $0.99 you ever spend. Again, the title is "Found" by Aaron Ivey from the album, "Between the Beauty & Chaos." I realized that the only option for me was to get back on my path and move forward and that's what I've done. I got back up on the bike and am now able to ride it for 10 minutes. But those 10 minutes are huge for me and I now have the short-term goal of riding for 30 minutes. Then comes the long-term goal of being able to ride a bike outside with my family. Dont ever stay down. Get up, hop on a bike, and stay the path.

Keep Dancing

Since I started this journey, I have looked for motivation from many sources: songs, quotes, life stories, almost anything. But last Saturday night I had the incredible blessing to find motivation and encouragement from my own daughter Maggie. It hit me last Saturday night during her dance recital, that this wonderful young lady has stayed on the path most of her life through many bumps and cut-arounds to accomplish great things.

Maggie was born with some problems. She was developmentally delayed and had severe sensory integration problems. But from a young age she always wanted to dance and God had brought a wonderful instrument into her life - her dance teacher, Miss Stacy. She always believed in her. It seemed at first like Maggie would always have an asterisk by her name. In case you don't know what I mean, that's when someone sets a record but there's some special circumstances so they put an asterisk by their name. She threw her heart into dancing which had so many boundaries due to her problems. It was like she was always going to be a good dancer but would be confined by her physical problems.

But I can tell you that Saturday night during her ballet solo, she blew up the asterisk. She danced technically the best she has ever done, but it was her heart as a dancer and her love for the God she was honoring with the song she danced to ("Talk to Jesus" by Kathy Tricolli) that burst through bringing her dance teacher (and many in the audience) to tears.

I realized that she has always had the determination of a pit bull and she stayed on the path and will continue on the path to accomplish many wonderful things. So my daughter taught me a lesson - that I need to continue on the path just like she does and sometimes that path is a long difficult trip but it is lightened up if we just dance.